Sandwich
by Tall n' handsome
Summary: Oh, the tedious little things that Ike would do for his special sandwich...


**This is just a little thing that I was daydreaming about while in class. A quickly typed mess.  
**

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Ike had been waiting a while to order. He was at his favorite cafe and it seemed that they were rather busy today. He didn't mind too much, but he was definitely hungry and was wanting to order his sandwich as normal. The Warm Winds Cafe wasn't a very large place, but it was definitely homey to the locals who stayed near the establishment. Ike, being a normal customer, was very familiar with the staff and some of the regular customers. Once a Shyguy finished ordering his very, very complicated espresso, Ike was able to step up to the front counter. It seemed that a young and short girl was running the counter this morning. He had already met this young girl before, but he could tell that something was wrong due to her normally cheerful expression not being on her face. She brushed her blonde hair behind her ear and blushed lightly.

"Good afternoon Ike! Have you come for the normal? Or were you looking to spice things up a little bit?" her eyes quickly darted back and forth to the left and right as if she were nervous. Ike scratched his chin and nodded his head.

"Good afternoon to you too Zelda. And yes, my normal would be perfect right about now." his stomach grumbled. Zelda let out a sheepish laugh and began to scratch the back of her head.

"Yeeeeeeahh...About that...Um, we seemed to have had an inventory error and we miscounted the amount of bread we had for our stock...it seems that we are currently all out of fresh ingredients to bake the bread we normally use for our...um...dishes…" her face grew a light pink. Funny. Ike had never heard of this happening before and it was especially strange how Zelda seemed so embarrassed about it. Could she possibly have…?

"Did you take inventory?" he just had to make sure that she wasn't the one who miscounted. Little to his dismay, she slowly nodded.

"I d-don't know how it happened, but I must've been off by a number or two because we are totally out until next Tuesday…"

It was Thursday.

Ike shook his head. While things seem to happen from time to time, he still was hungry. And he wasn't hungry for something else. He wanted his special sandwich that he always ordered.

"Is there anyway that I'd be able to help get that sandwich?" he asked. Zelda wasn't sure. Ike was just a normal customer after all, so who's to say that he gets to meddle in her work affairs? Either way it didn't matter. It was his sandwich that he so wanted.

"Well, I could tell you where to get the raw ingredients...As a matter of fact, here's a list!" She pulled out a conveniently written list from her apron pocket and handed it to him. "If you just bring me this stuff, then I'll bake that bread and get you your Italian Supreme in no time!" she nervously laughed. Ike peered at the list when he heard shouts from behind him.

"Hey! You're holding up the line! Make up your mind already!" a dark haired angel shook a fist at him. Ike sighed and stepped to the side. It looks like it was going to be a bit before he got his beloved Italian Supreme. It seems that Zelda also handed him a little bit of cash to pick up the ingredients that she needed.

"I wonder what her boss would think about this…" He could see chef Kowasaki working hard in the back of the store. He decided against telling him and instead set out of the front doors to the Warm Winds Cafe. FIrst stop on the list; seems he needed to head to Pupridge Farms to pick up the fresh flour. That wasn't very far from his current location at all. Without leaving time for his tummy to yell at him longer, Ike quickly began walking to Pupridge Farms.

Not too long after setting out, Ike quickly reached his destination. He puts his list away in his pocket and approaches the person who seems to be the head of the farm. A man clad in green had a piece of wheat in his mouth as he played a blue guitar. The man was singing an old tune. He was rocking back and forth in his old chair and had his own Bulbasaur near him, seeming as happy as can be. Ike, not wanting to disrupt the man, sheepishly approached the deck.

"Uh, good afternoon sir? I've come from W-"

"Oh, she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes…"

"I'm sorry sir what?"

"Oh, she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes…"

"No, not me. I'm Ike, I came to get some flour. For that cafe a few blocks away. Warm Winds, remember?" the man glanced at him and got back to jamming out.

"She'll be comin'-"

"NO, sir, you're not listening. I need flour. Just a bag of flour. Here, I have-" Ike pulled out a few of the bills that Zelda had handed to him. "Payment right here." Ike held it out and the man took off his floppy green hat. He threw it on the floor and told him that tips can go inside of the hat. He began playing a different song in order to impress Ike.

"If it hadn't of been fo' Cotton Eye Joe, I'd been married a long time ago. Where did you come from where-" Ike had no time for this. His tum tum demanded that he feasted upon an Italian Supreme and his tum tum demanded it now.

"Will you knock that off!?" Ike kicked the floppy hat over and the man in green stopped. He looked a little bit surprised and spit out the wheat in his mouth.

"D'ya think you can come here and disrespect my personal bein'? I play ya some tunes and not only do ya not tip, but you bring disrespect!?" he started to stand. Ike hadn't meant to anger the man, but he really did have it coming. Right as the tunic man began to roll up his sleeves, a pink slipper flew through the air and hit him on the head. A tall lady; angry lady, readied to throw another slipper.

"Gosh darnit Link! What'ave I toldya about playin' farmer while I'm in the restroom, you bad little thing!?" it could only be assumed that this lady in pink overalls was the one running the place at the time. The person that she called Link rolled away and began to run.

"Wah! Peach I'm sorry!" he tried to escape, but was instead hit in the head by another slipper. He fell over and cowered in the dirt. The lady let out a huff and folded her arms, offering a warm smile to Ike as he held out cash.

"So sorry about that little mishap darlin'. Now, what can mama Peach get for ya, young man?" She smiled and the world lit up. Ike tried not to stutter over his words.

"I-I-I came f-from...uh...I need flour…" the farm woman let out a little laugh and went inside of her ranch. She came out after a brief amount of time and set a brown bag into Ike's hands.

"Keep the cash, sugar. I'll consider it my own blunder that ya had to deal with this blundering buffoon." She glanced at Link, who was playing fetch with his Bulbasaur. "I figure that you're comin' from that cafe down the road. Go ahead and give them a good word from me, ya hear?" she smiled. Before Ike could thank her, she strutted off and began shouting in the distance. "By golly, where on this green Earth is that boy when I need him? Link! Get out here and help me milk some cows gosh darnit!"

Ike had no idea what had just happened, but he was definitely reassured. He quickly pulled out the messy list and looked at the next item. It seems that he needed sugar, but not just any sugar. He needed red sugar, a substance with magical properties that could only be retrieved from space. Luckily, there are things called a market where he could buy a small amount for a decent price.

Ike's stomach growled as he began to backtrack.

The market seemed to be overcrowded today. There were many citizens stirring left and right. It was quite inconvenient for Ike since he only needed to buy one thing.

"Jeez, it's impossible to find anything in this crowd…" He peered over heads while trying to pick out the correct place to buy his red sugar. In the distance, he could see a short man dressed in red standing on a podium. He seemed to be promoting a product. Without hesitation, Ike pushed his way through the busy crowd in order to get a closer look.

Upon reaching the podium, the man's words became more clear and easy to understand.

"Step-a right up to experience flavor that-a you have never tried before!" he brushed his stache. Ike squinted at the product in the man's hand. "This-a here isn't ordinary like it's white and powdery counterpart! Because-a with the right mixtures, you can-a make some magical things happen!" It was a bag full of some type of red rocks or dust. That had to be the Red Sugar he was looking for. "WIll-a there be any buyers today? One-a small bag for only $6.99!" Without thinking, Ike quickly threw a ten dollar bill at the man. He snatched a bag of the red dust and ran off. He didn't care about the change. He just wanted his darned sandwich…

"Mario, is he allowed to just snatch and-a go?" asked a man wearing an identical outfit, but green. The man named Mario shrugged.

"He must-a be a big fan of-a rock salt to just-a run off so quickly. It's-a alright."

The Warm Winds cafe seemed to have slowed down a little bit. It was finally a little more quiet than it had been the first time Ike had come today. Ike put the brown paper bag and the red bag both on the counter and looked at Zelda expectantly. It took her a moment to realize what Ike had given her.

"Oh! You went and grabbed the two main ingredients. Great! Now, one more problem…" Ike slammed his head on the counter. He slowly lifted his aching skull up to give her a crooked smile.

"Now, what could that be ZELDA?" she hid behind the countertop.

"I also...um...forgot to count the ham...so I can bake bread, but there would be no ham on your Italian Supreme. It wouldn't be the same…" she was as red as a tomato. Ike sighed and threw his head back.

"AND where am I going to find freshly sliced ham?" he sighed. Zelda pointed out the door. In the direction of the market. Ike banged his head again. "So you mean to tell me-" Ike was cut off by somebody behind him.

"Can you please order and MOVE!? We're hungry!" all of a sudden, there was a long line behind Ike. He stared Zelda down and stepped out of line, slowly heading back outside.

Ike had wasted at least two hours by running errands just so he could have his sandwich. _Zelda had better pay me back for this or her boss will hear a thing or two_, he thought. Once again, it seemed that the market was still packed full of people. He was very curious as to where he could find ham. After searching for a bit, he discovered something that was a bit disturbing in its own right.

"Come one, come all! It is I, your local butcher! Instead of selling meats like I normally do, I all of a sudden have a hunger for challenge and dare any of you to step forth for a chance to win this very conveniently sliced plate of ham!" the butcher, a man wearing dark cloaks and orange hair, thrusted his hands into the air. A few people who happened to want a plate of freshly sliced ham stepped up. Ike, being alerted, was no exception to the people who stepped up. He raised his hand.

"I'll just give you 10 bucks if you give me the ham." Ike held up another ten dollar bill. The butcher shook his head.

"No money! Not today! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to play a game for it! All you have to do is to see who can chop the most wood!" he pointed to some stands that he had set up. Several logs were lined up for challengers to slice. Ike sighed and took one of the spots. A short and portly man wearing yellow with purple overalls stood next to him. Another man took the third spot. He was wearing a red kung fu gi and his blond hair only showed off his confidence. The butcher stepped up as if he was hosting some form of game show.

"Alright you three! I want very clean slices. In order for your log slices to count, I want you to follow me as I demonstrate," they each picked up on of the very large and sharp blades that was left out for them.

"Your cuts should look something like this," the butcher pulled his blade back. "DORIYAH!" he shouted and split the log in two. He smiled back at his three contestants. "Just like that! Whoever can get closest to that wins!" Ike shook his head.

"I though you said whoever cuts the MOST wood gets to-"

"GO!" he shouted. The first contestant was the man in the kung fu gi. He pulled back the blade and slammed it down with great force. The log was hit, but not in the right spot, A long piece of wood flew off, leaving the log rather lopsided. The man looked disappointed.

"Impossible! Somebody must've moved me!" he huffed and moved aside. The butcher set up a new log and the man in purple overalls went next. He wasn't even able to raise the blade; let alone slamming it down the middle of a log. He sighed and began to waddle off without a word.

"Oh I missed…"

Finally, it was Ike's turn. The butcher didn't even need to give a demonstration. Ike could taste the ham now. Smell it, feel it, believe it. The sweet taste of the sliced meat was to be his and he would settle for nothing less. His spirit resonated with it and a dark aura of hunger began to surround Ike. He glanced at the log and gritted his teeth. He would split the log, oh yes. But it would not be down the middle. It would be so split that you wouldn't be able to recognize it anymore. Ike wanted the ham so bad that he began to chant words of magical properties. He eyes started to glow with malicious intent. Strong winds around him blew and Ike was suddenly levitating off the ground. Every muscle bulged. The sky turned dark as the clouds swirled overhead. People blew away in the strong storm that was forming. The butcher looked up at Ike, who was glowing purple and shone a bright pink light from his eyes.

"Hey! Don't you think you're taking this a little too seriously!?" he shouted up to him. But Ike could no longer understand. He was in a state where he could no longer be stopped. Not until that plate of delicious ham was his. Locked onto the log, Ike pulled the blade to the side.

"YOU. LOG. YOU ARE IN THE WAY OF MY SANDWICH. FOR THAT OFFENSE, YOU WILL BE-" he spun in a circle, forming a vortex of demonic energy. The vortex inhaled people and objects into it and shot straight towards the innocent log. "ANNIHILATED!" The blade vortex crashed and dust and debris and people flew all around. The large collision shook the very earth and everyone in a 10 mile radius felt the very plates of the Earth tremble.

When the dust cleared, it seemed that Ike had barely missed the log. The butcher shook his head.

"Well well well, looks like you completely missed. Better luck next time." he smiled. The butcher looked around and couldn't find anyone else. "Luckily for you, it seems everyone has gone missing, so you are the only person to give this to! Congratulations!" he said and placed the plate into Ike's hands. Ike could hardly move. It takes a lot of energy to form a demonic portal vortex that eats the souls of the innocent. Not everyone can do it on a daily basis.

After what seemed like hours, Ike had finally brought the ham back to Zelda. She had baked the bread while Ike was destroying the market and it seemed that his sandwich was finally ready.

"Here you go! Your Italian Supreme!" she presented Ike's sandwich to him. His hair was messy and he was covered in dirt. But he finally had his sandwich. It just looked so good that, without checking, Ike took a huge bite out of it. There was a loud CRUNCH and a red dust flaring into the air. Ike immediately fell backwards and passed out on the floor. Zelda looked over the counter at him.

"Oh darn, I knew that there was something wrong with that red sugar. Perhaps it wasn't red sugar at all...oops…" Ike lay unconscious on the floor and showed no signs of waking up soon. "Jeez, I'm not sure what to do! Poor Ike, all he wanted was his sandwich-"

"WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON UP HERE!?" Chef Kowasaki ran up to the front counter. He saw Ike passed out on the ground and immediately turned to Zelda. "What did you do!? Is he dead? It was hard enough to hide the first body Zelda! Now what?" he griped at her. She shook her head.

"It's not my fault! He gave me a wrong ingredient for his brea-wait, did you say the 'first bo-'" Kowasaki slapped his hand over her mouth.

"Nevermind that. Bread? For our Italian Supreme? It's on the top shelf now in the pantry. I wanted to do some reorganizing, remember? Same thing for the ham, except in the fridge. You just can't see it cause you're short." Zelda lit up red again. The two glanced at each other and started laughing out loud. It was rather late in the day and was time to close up shop. They locked the doors and had a good chuckle all the way home.

"Did you see his face? When he had to go get the ham!? Haha!" Zelda sheepishly giggled. Kowasaki pulled his keys from the door and turned off all the lights.

"Haha! I ought to fire you for that, but it's just so funny! Tell me again, what did he say when you sent him to grab flour?" he laughed. The two walked down the street as the sun was setting, laughing the whole way.

"Though it was an accident, at least everyone is having a happy ending! I get to keep my job!" Zelda laughed as they walked down the street. And everything continued to be happy for the rest of the night…

...Ike was still passed out on the cafe floor.

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**Ah, I do love my daydreams sometimes. I almost took this story and turned it into a mini series that goes more in depth with Ike's adventures and certain characters, but I wanted to capture how messy daydreams can be. Either way, that's all on this for now! Like it? Leave a review and tell me what you enjoyed, or even what I could do better! I'm always up for suggestions, especially for something as messy as this! Want more from me? Should I make more short stories about the daydreams and normal dreams that I have? It's all up to you. Hope you enjoyed and I hope even more that you have a great day!**


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